Donald Trump's Pokemon team would be a bombastic, gold-plated powerhouse built around building walls, grabbing headlines, denying everything, and "winning" with massive crowd pleasers. Heavy on Steel and Normal for unyielding defense and raw American bravado, tying into his border wall obsession, election controversies, hush money scandals, and endless lawsuits. Here's the six-mon lineup:
1. Stakataka - The ultimate wall Pokemon, a hulking stack of ancient Ultrabeast rocks forming an impenetrable barrier. Trump sends it out first to "build the wall" and block invaders, just like his endless border security rants and deportation "Gotta Catch 'Em All" ICE raids.
2. Gumshoos - Slicked-back hair, detective swagger, and relentless pursuit of "crooked" foes. The Trump lookalike that sniffs out rats and makes Alola great again, perfect for his witch hunt accusations and fake news takedowns.
3. Meowth - Pay Day for endless cash grabs, tied to his hush money payments to Stormy Daniels and business mogul scams. Talks big, loves coins, and scratches at critics like a street-smart Team Rocket reject.
4. Wobbuffet - Mirrors every attack back with Counter and Mirror Coat, denying all allegations and turning lawsuits against "losers." Represents his "I didn't do it" deflections on everything from Russia to January 6.
5. Braviary - Proud bald eagle of freedom, soaring over battlefields with Superpower. Symbolizes his patriotic rallies, MAGA chants, and "USA! USA!" controversies like the Capitol riot patriotism.
6. Copperajah - Gigantic steel elephant trunk for stomping opponents, with trumpeting cries and heavy metal armor. Nods to Republican elephant, his thick-skinned bravado, and crushing election denialism.
This team stalls with walls and counters, sweeps with Normal crits, and taunts nonstop. Trump's ace: Gigantamax Stakataka for a towering "big beautiful wall" that crushes dreams. It'll make opponents' teams yuge losers.
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